The Just Don’t Say Anything Offensive

It just wouldn’t be Halloween without an official Halloween etiquette expert telling us what to say (and what not to say) in order to have an offensive-free holiday. This next story comes to us from Marvin Moore over at Sunny 99.1.

No need to mention here that the name Marvin sounds like a boomer’s name, not that it matters.

I mean, it kind of does matter because these boomers are holding onto their cushy jobs far longer than they need to just to stick it to the rest of us. Then they can complain that we’re too lazy to work and…

Sorry, I’ll shut up now.

The One Thing You Should Never Say To Trick-Or-Treaters At The Door

Don’t ask “What are you?” or “What are you supposed to be?” You don’t want to embarrass a child or hurt their feelings. If you don’t recognize the costume, Dr, Ziegler suggests saying “Tell me about your costume.” Kids are proud of their costumes and usually excited to tell you all about them.

What Trick-Or-Treaters Should Make Sure To Say

It’s a good idea to remind kids trick-or-treating that it’s polite to say “Trick or treat!” when someone comes to the door, and “Thank you” when someone gives you candy. People handing out candy are in the Halloween spirit and look forward to these interactions when answering the door. But also important for those of us giving out treats to remember that some children (and adults) are nonverbal, so try not to be offended if someone doesn’t say “Trick or treat!”, “Thank you”, or anything at all.

As a non-non-verbal adult I plan to go trick-or-treating as a non-verbal adult. Not any old adult, though. I’m going as a non-verbal boomer. That will be my costume.

Thank you, Marvin, for the inspiration.

So if I show up to your door and just stand there, staring awkwardly while holding my tattered pillow case while saying nothing at all, just do your thing like the expert says and don’t ask me any stupid questions, kapeesh?

I wonder where Marvin’s house is.

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