The Holy Roller Offensive

It’s the Lord’s day, so naturally we should turn our thoughts toward not offending Him. We also are encouraged not to offend our fellow man. Ha! We all know that’s easier said than done, amiright?

Even Jesus himself knew this would be an impossible task and told us “in the last days, MANY shall be offended” (I’m paraphrasing here but you get the gist). And really, I’m just helping things along with this blog but I digress.

This morning’s story comes to us from someone who knows all about offending the masses, pastor Michael J. Brooks over at YellowHammer. He reflects on beards, smoking and drinking amongst the clergy.

I enjoyed some theological discussion on a social media page until the day it went south. These were mostly young pastors who enjoyed beards, cigars and beer. One participant, a Baptist pastor, wrote that some church members were offended he drank beer. Well, of course!

The matter of alcohol is viewed differently in different churches. I served a Presbyterian church for several years and members commonly talked about drinking socially. Baptists and other evangelicals have historically had a different perspective.

I wish we could cite specific and clear verses that say, “do not drink,” but this is hard. The Corinthian church got drunk at the Lord’s table, so they didn’t use grape juice as our church does. The Bible, instead, warns of drunkenness, and tells about foolish people who got drunk, including Noah and Lot and the Corinthians.

I have to stop here and say that this is the reason many of us are unchurched. Not the part about fellow believers being offended, but by some churches using grape juice instead of liquor. It’s just unbiblical!

Honestly, if they’d bring back the alcohol I guarantee all these struggling churches would refill the pews again. What do they think brought half of us to drag our hungover selves out of bed and into church on Sunday mornings for centuries?! Haven’t they ever read the scripture about “the hair of the dog that bit you”?? I think it’s in Psalms.

Anyway, you’ll have to click over to read the rest but just a word of advice to the good pastor. Well, two, really. One, never engage with anyone on social media and expect a different outcome. They just like to argue. And two, get rid of the grape juice. If you can’t bring yourself to offer some quality spirits then at least give the sinners some homemade moonshine or something. I’m sure there’s a YouTube video on how to make it.

Or, better yet, offer the more natural alternative: the devil’s lettuce. That will bring you more sinners than you can shake a stick at! 😉

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