The Straight White Guy Offensive

Well, today’s the day when the ghosts rise from their graves and the masses are sure to either offend or be offended. No matter what you do, if you choose to celebrate Halloween, you are guilty of some sort of unforgivable offense.

Unless your costume is your average straight, white guy. Apparently that’s still a safe bet, although I wouldn’t count on it. Some rainbow haired snowflake somewhere will see this as a micro agression and they’ll have an absolute melt down and then post it on TikTok.

But what if you don’t want to dress up as Dave from accounting? What if that’s your every day look and you want to live a little? What if you want to overtly offend the easily offended among us rather than covertly do it? I think I may have found the answer over at the Denver Gazette.

This year, we have a fashionable new horror. The University of Colorado-Boulder wants to ensure Halloween costumes don’t offend anyone. A page of “Halloween Safety Tips” on the university’s website includes the following “safety” tip:

“Cultural appropriation — the inappropriate use of ideas, symbols or stereotypes pertaining to another culture — is a common offense among Halloween costumes. These types of costumes are offensive because they often reduce a culture to a caricature…”

Fake warnings don’t get scarier. Or more unreasonable. Everything about Halloween reduces a person, thing or group to a caricature. Costumes = caricatures. Don’t set out to offend, which almost no one does.

Modern academia sees the mere observation of another culture as offensive. A warrior costume with a tomahawk must offend American Indians. A child dressed as a nun could offend Catholics. Pretend witches = offended Wiccans. The popular Genghis Khan costume surely offends Asians, and Day of the Dead costumes appropriate Mexican tradition. Universities across the country offer sweeping “appropriation” warnings this year, causing students to laugh out loud

The very act of celebrating Halloween culturally appropriates the Catholic All Saints Eve and the ancient Gaelic Samhain festivals.

Let’s all use common sense this Halloween. Check the children’s treats, beware of drivers who can’t see dark costumes, and ignore those who play appropriation “gotcha” to demonize young people having innocent fun. Have a Happy, safe and fright-filled Halloween.

I think that pretty much sums it up nicely. Have a happy, safe Halloween everyone!

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