Please try not to let your eyes roll out of the back of your head for this next one. Once again, a supposedly legitimate (lol) “news” source has scraped the bottom of the social media barrel also known as TikTok for a “news” story.

And they say investigative journalism is dead. Ha.

From MSN:

A McDonald’s worker can tell exactly what you’ll order – based on your appearance. The fast food worker has gone viral with a cheeky TikTok video sharing all.

TikTok user @shehasaproblem said: “I work at McDonald’s and this is what people typically look like who order these things. Do not be offended.”

She added: “In the nicest way possible.” She then said Big Macs are bought primarily by middle aged men, while middle aged women opt for the Quarter Pounder with Cheese.

I call bullsh*t on this one, and it’s obvious this TikTokker is going out of her way trying not to offend one particular group who I know for a fact comes through the drive-thru more than anyone else.

Notice she didn’t mention how morbidly obese, rainbow haired Teletubby lookalikes order twelve Big Macs, three Quarter Pounders and seven large fries. Then they sit in their tiny car in the parking lot and shovel it all down with their fat fingers, thinking no one sees them while they make TikTok videos espousing their wisdom on how being fat is healthy and how if you don’t want to date them you are “fatphobic”.

Oh. We see them.

We can’t help but see them! Their bright blue and red and green and purple hair is like a blinding beacon to alert us all to steer clear.

They can get very dangerous if they don’t get their daily McFix.